I am a China Doll. Please don't drop me, I'll break. Please don't leave me, I won't be able to move. And please, whatever you do, don't forget me... I'll die.
The number 4 gets on my nerves because it smiles too much. Don't know what I mean? You probably don't want to.






I am not here to impress you. I am not here to make you like me. If you don't like me, then you don't like me and that's that. I am not here to make you my friend. I have nothing to prove to you. I am who I am and I am NOT going to change for anyone. I've already done that once and I didn't like it in the least bit. I am not here to whore myself off to the masses. I am not here to be your little plaything. I am here for me and for my friends, all of whom I love. Thank you.


I love old fashioned things. Top-hats, neckties, boys in suits dressed like they're going to a ball. I don't know why, but I do. Often I'll make my dresses or skirts look a little more old-fashioned and it's usually very nice looking. My friends always make me alter their clothes for them in some way. Sewing is how I take my mind off of things, but my sewing machine has broken recently, so I use the good ol' needle and line. And no, I do not say thread, I say line. So there.
I love the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland. Not really the old man with the insanely large head, but the younger one with a smile that makes the hair on your neck stand. I would kill, simply kill, for anyone who could smile at me in such a way.


Hardcore? Please. Why be hardcore or 'scene' when you can be NERDcore?
I watch Anime like it's going to become illegal.
Yeah, I play video games.
World of Warcraft is my passion.
D.May Cry 4 is coming out and I actually danced when I heard.

I drink way too many energy drinks. I love Chinese/Japanese food, but only on Tuesdays (kdding. It's an inside joke). I cook my own meals in my house or I most likely won't eat them. Anything made by my sister or father seem to taste just a little funny and I'm afraid they put something I don't know about in it. Secret ingredients usually mean poison to me and whenever someone says they have one, I demand they tell me or I'll go berserk. Like, knife to your neck, chair thrown across the room kind of stuff. Haha. I sort of obsess over things that don't matter. People can call me names all they want and it won't bother me, but then they'll say something that isn't directly against me and I'll over-analyze it and sometimes break down.


I only wear perfumes that smell like vanilla or sugar. I hate flowery scents. I don't know why...


Now, I don't like equations all that much, but I do have some for you. Pay attention, class. There will be a test on this on Friday.
Anime=Vice
Japan=Heaven
Friends (the show, for all you slow ones out there) = Bliss.
Scrubs = Brilliance.
House = GOD.
Any questions?




Want to buy my friendship?
Cheetoes.
Yes, that's right. Buy me Cheetoes and I will most likely agree to be your comedy bitch as well. Especially if they're Flaming Cheetoes. I've been eating those things since I was in the fourth grade. My father told me they'd destroy my taste buds, but like I really even care.


Gah...

I can honestly say that there are very few people here that I trust, for all around me I see people to take this earth for granted, they spit on her face, they rip out her hair, they cut into her very flesh. She weeps, but she does not stop us because... Because she knows a love that we could never understand.

Do you want to know something odd about me? I watch people in public. Whenever I go out to a social place, I'm always watching everyone around me. The way the act, laugh, smile. Their body language, their awkwardness, their self confidence. I watch all of this in despair because they don't have to act in public, they can put on their little show for all to see and that's just fine but they don't pretend to be a certain way to keep everyone else from thinking they are three seconds away from breaking down. I just can not. I am how I am and I'm never any different. I wish that I didn't have to act like a different person just so people wont stare. It's a curse, I live it. It is me. :]


What do I want? It's hard to say. I want a partner, not a boyfriend, husband, or anything of the like. Love is far too overrated for one my age. I am a virgin, thank you, and I've only kissed one boy in my life. That's just how I am. Think it's silly? You don't know me.
Sure, I suppose there are such things as soul mates, however unlikely that is. There are few and rare cases in which two people love each other with their entire being, but trust me on this one; you can not have a relationship like that until you've had your heartbroken and until you're 22-ish. High school sweet-hearts are great and all, but 70% of that is lies.

I just made up that percentage, by the way. I do that sometimes.
I just want someone I can place my complete faith in and rely on. Someone who respects me as I do them and someone who can understand my wishes, my dreams. I want to find someone, or have them find me, who can hold my hand when I've gone into one of my many stages of rage and calm me in an instant. Someone who can guide me, teach me, as I can guide and teach them. I want someone to teach me pointless things as my father does, so when someone asks me a question I can answer them without looking like an idiot, which I do a lot. I want someone who can laugh with me, hold me as I cry, and tell me everything I need to hear when my life seems to be at its worse. (I don't break down often. I'm afraid people will think I'm looking for attention.) I need someone who can reassure me of the future to come. I'm very sure I am going to die young, and hey... It doesn't bother me at all. The only person who has ever been able to do that has passed away. Tragic and heartbreaking, for she was truly my best friend and the only woman I will ever come close to loving. I wish you the best on your journey and please stay safe. This paragraph is dedicated entirely to you. Fly Free, Miss Alice Delane.

By the by, Alice Delane was my imaginary platypus.



Oh, anyone who actually cares about what I have to say. READ. I can not tell you how important books are to your life. Manga. Fiction. Sci-Fi. Literacy is amazing! Oh, and it really hurts to see someone send me a message that reads, "how r u". I usually dislike people that type like that.


I'm the biggest spaz you'll probably ever know. I LOVE to read and write and listen to music, but I can be listening to Disturbed one moment and reading a large novel of immense intensity, and then switch to techno and manga. Why? Because I'm awesome like that! No, really! I rock that hard. I am annoying at times, but in a good way. I know that sounds impossible, but it's true.

I loathe HIM.

They were great when I was thirteen, but now I see that they suck.